Movie Review Haikus

Ok, this isn't really an original idea. I saw it on another site. But it is so much fun! These reviews were written by me or friends of mine, but if anyone reading this gets inspired and wants to submit some reviews for consideration, see the bottom of the page for my submission guidelines.

Ripley fights the beast.
Captain. Strong. Brave. Admire
her action figure.
by bellamy

Did you see this one
back when it was called "Hackers"?
Hi-tech thriller fun.
by Rachel

Apocalypse Now
Up the river to
the heart of darkness of soul.
Don't get off the boat.
by bellamy

Ash Tuesday
Small tales of New York
People learn to recover
Heartwarming but dull
by Rachel

While watching "Benyth"
you play "What's acting, what's real?"
Not quite worth the hype.
by Rachel

Bread & Tulips
It's so well-crafted
A wife's self-discovery
Worth the subtitles!
by Rachel

Bringing Rain
What's it all about?
Subtext that's left too obscure
I thought he had died
by Rachel

Bulletproof Monk
Chow Yun Fat smiles sweet,
kicks ass with his flying feet.
Wisdom? No! Great fun.
by bellamy

Catch That Girl (Klatretøsen)
Will this delightful
Ocean's Eleven for kids
Spur a tween crime spree?
by Rachel

Chinese Odyssey 2002
What's old made new
Under the peach blossom tree
Silly and magic
by Rachel

Think you're a film nut?
Five New Yorkers can top that
They live celluloid
by Rachel

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Beauty and magic
This martial arts adventure
makes the spirit fly
by Rachel

Darkness Falls
In light is safety.
But this muddled mass of tripe
lends little brightness.
by bellamy

Donnie Darko
Spooky or insane?
The future eats its own tail
hide, giggle, wonder.
by Rachel

Dude, Where's my Car?
Love the bubble suits
Bill and Ted for a new age
Some stupid, good fun
by Rachel

The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Can you forgive her?
Ex-controversy "victim"
Mascara still flows
by Rachel

Fight Club
Very clever film.
"How's that working out for you?"
I've seen it four times.
by Rachel

Film ist. (7-12)
Historic film clips
layered together, set to
unbearable sound
by Rachel

Fishing with John
"Lon the fisherman
has wooden legs -- but real feet."
Dry humor, wet fish.
by bellamy

The Full Monty
Working stiffs, daring
nakedness to make a buck.
Fun for the ladies!
by bellamy

Galaxy Quest
Shooting fish? Perhaps.
But -- poking fun is O.K.
when done out of love.
by bellamy

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
The sea captain's ghost.
The lovely lonely widow.
Romance by the sea.
by bellamy

Ghost Dog
Forest Whitaker
lives by code of samuri
RZA keeps it real
by Joe

Ghost World
Weirdos everywhere
will see themselves reflected.
Comix brought to life.
by Rachel

F/X heavy Rome
Not supposed to be funny
but it made me laugh.
by Rachel

Ethan as the Dane,
I kept myself awake by
biting my own hand.
by Rachel

Harold & Maude
Suicidal Boy,
Crazy Old Dame. "If you want
to sing out, sing out."
by bellamy

Head of State
The biggest shock? Not
a black man in the white house,
but -- Chris Rock sincere.
by bellamy

I am embarrassed.
Jason Lee is my excuse
for seeing this crap
by Rachel

High Fidelity
Thoughtful Gen-x flick
made me wonder to myself
"Where's *my* John Cusak?"
by Rachel

No chance to poke holes.
Too satisfying. Splendid
by bellamy

Hollow Man
Science goes awry.
Special F/X are the star.
A hollow movie.
by Rachel

The House of Mirth
Scully's bold triumph.
Beauty eludes people's grasp,
and they destroy it.
by Rachel

House of 1000 Corpses
Carnie evil, add
a touch of Rocky (Horror).
Stir with a chainsaw.
by bellamy

Ten Little Injuns,
served with a twist. Creeping chills.
It keeps you guessing.
by bellamy

Immortal Beloved
Beethoven's sadness.
The beauty of his music.
A masterful work.
by bellamy

laugh, gasp, scream, gag, OW!
some unwatchable moments
oh my god. funny
by Rachel

Johnny Mnemonic
dolphin mastermind
human data couriers
keanu sucks ass
by Joe

Kate & Leopold
Hugh Jackman's, dashing.
Meg Ryan's, just annoying.
Fast forward the bitch.
by bellamy

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Why do they try to
blame the Illuminati?
It's Hollywood's fault!
by Rachel

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
New Brit fab foursome,
Ganja, guns, Hatchet Harry
Keep your "pies" open!
by Cathy

Man on the Moon
In this comic's work
Life and art and death converge.
Laugh or cry? Do both.
by Rachel

The Matrix Reloaded
The F/X attack
The twisty logic gets flack
The hero can't act
by Rachel

Meet the Parents
The film was good but,
not much left to discover
after the trailer.
by Rachel

Sticks with you for days
This wicked, brilliant film noir
With its backwards twist
by Rachel

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
The seamier side
of the old elegant South.
Come join the party.
by bellamy

Moulin Rouge
Ewan smiles and sings
"This story is about Love"
What more could I want?
by Rachel

Mulholland Drive
Dream-like, it has no
beginning, middle, or end.
A dizzy spiral.
Real? Fantasy? Who's?
Is anything what it seems?
Who are these people?
by Rachel by Ceil (a.k.a Mom)

Naked World
Nude bodies lay bare
Powerful human spirits
All over the globe
by Rachel

Nurse Betty
Soap opera fan
pretty much loses her mind.
Creepy fantasy.
by Rachel

O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Slow mocking torture
insults us for seeing it
Coens let me down
by Rachel

Phantom Menace
What was the worst part?
Jar-Jar? Dull sub-plot? Lame kid?
Ewan's never nude.
by Rachel

The Princess Bride
Giants! Pirates! Love!
How could you not enjoy this?
by bellamy

Psycho Beach Party
Campy surfer spoof.
The sublimated sex themes
come to the surface.
by Rachel

How does this tale of
moral ambiguity
reflect your own soul?
by Rachel

Rabbit Proof Fence
A thoughtful journey
across a harsh environ.
Much inside yourself.
by bellamy

The Razor's Edge
Bill Murray goes to
India, finds Nirvana.
No, seriously.
by bellamy

Requiem for a Dream
Harrowing drug story,
more soul-crushing than squeamish.
It took me by surprise.
Three young drug users
Addiction leads to bad things
Harry loses arm.
by Rachel by andrew kerstine

Romance, delayed. Steve
Martin takes Darryl Hannah
by a Cyranose.
by bellamy

The Ruling Class
Peter O'Toole, God?
The comedy is so black.
The Ripper's name, Jack.
by bellamy

Clever, bumpy start
on this sugary joy ride,
but "Movie Fate" drives.
by Rachel

Series 7
Uncanny send-up
asks Reality TV
"How far will you go?"
by Rachel

Shakespeare in Love
romantic: Gwyneth, Joe Fiennes.
"Twas the nightingale!"
by bellamy

Shaolin Soccer
Mythical action
Hilarious champions
Really can't be beat
by Rachel

The Shape of Things
Moments of laughter
Women can be evil too
Does that make it art?
by Rachel

Watching a train wreck
into exploitation film --
cannot look away!
by bellamy

Gritty but stylish
Boxing mishaps, heist gone wrong
Guy does it again!
by Rachel

Someone Like You
Yeah it's a chick-flick,
but my "erotic nose-brain"
found it quite funny
by Rachel

I'm spun on Jason
I can stop at any time.
Still dizzy. Please stop.
by Jinners
High drama abounds
in this dot.umentary
So current, so true
by Rachel

Style Wars
Hip-hop style was born
Grafitti, breaks, and music
Bombing the system
by Rachel

Sunset Boulevard
Yesterday's star, mad.
Mansion, butler, writer all
ready for closeups.
by bellamy

10 Things I Hate About You
"Taming of the Shrew" -
something borrowed, something new.
The classics still work!
by bellamy

28 Days Later
Basic zombie plot
But that doesn't stop it from
Scaring your pants off
by Rachel

Kitschy follow-up
dragged from plot point to plot point
kicking and screaming.
by Rachel

The Virgin Suicides
Stifling family.
Moody, poignant fantasy.
What's a girl to do?
by Rachel

The Way of the Gun
Smart southwest crime flick.
Novice thugs stumble into
family affair.
by Rachel

Whale Rider
Young. Strong. Brave. A girl
gentley nudges tradition
to prove she can lead
by Rachel

What Women Want
This man wants a plot,
laughs, even psychology;
not this formula.
by Alex H.

Nick Cage shakes, takes the
White Man's Burden on his back.
Poor, weak Indians.
by bellamy

Low expectations
from superheo movies?
This one doesn't suck!
by Rachel

The mutants eXcel
Always leave you wanting more
Hooray, fuzzy elf!
by Rachel

Extreme eye candy.
Action, action everywhere,
but no sense to drink.
by bellamy

Lovingly explores
the themes that give life meaning.
Three hours well spent.
by Rachel

You Can Count On Me
A tale of siblings
Brilliant, reflective, and true
The pace of real life
by Rachel

Submission Guidelines
So, first of all, it isn't sufficient to just break a sentence or two into random segments of 5-7-5 syllables, there has to be a rhythm to it. And preferably, the review should contain some sense of critical evaluation. It shouldn't just be a plot summary.

Pretty simple, right? So send your movie review haikus to me at!

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This page last updated on 26 May 2003.

This page has been viewed times since 7 December 2000.